My room needed a new look – especially my closet. After putting off the job for about six months, I finally got the courage to get my hands dirty.
While redecorating my sacred space, I realized that my life also needed new colors – and that, just like the work done in my room, I had been procrastinating on that transformation. But it was about time to do some cleaning, clear the cobwebs and bring more life into my day-to-day life.
There were so many things I wish I had done by now, but I held myself back for x reasons that are absolutely irrelevant and pointless. I think that, as I got older, I became more complacent and more afraid of trying new things. I hate to admit it, but the truth is that I shit my pants thinking about starting over. I feel tired and a little fed up. How many times will I have to redecorate my life? Will I never be satisfied? Maybe not.
Then I realized, with relief, that I don’t need to knock down walls or build a house from scratch – although sometimes that’s necessary – but I can change a thing here and there, add a new lampshade, change the wallpaper, buy a new bed and, little by little, I’ll rebuild my life.
Maybe I’ve reached that much-talked-about midlife crisis because I found myself wanting to do dangerous things… learn to ride a horse, go freediving… I want to buy my dream old Jeep and learn about mechanics so I can fix it myself, when necessary. By God, I want to be one of those hot chicks who ride those motorcycles twice their size.
As I painted the walls, used the drill, saw, hammer and other gadgets that make any little boy feel like he’s in heaven, I was overcome by a sense of power. After all, if I can drill a hole in a wall, I can also hold a rein; if I can saw wood, I can also ride a motorcycle. If I can take a deep breath and face the shit that life throws at me, I can also dive into the boundless blue in a single breath.
Anyway…
I’ll need help with some of these things, but I can start doing some of the others right now. Since I’m single and childless, I owe it to myself to enjoy the luxury of freedom that my current situation allows. If I don’t do any of these things, I’ll end up regretting it. And I refuse to leave this life thinking “Is that all?”
I want to reach the end of the road with a smile on my face, thinking “I did it right.”
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